Black cap and gown covering her Blue eyes and Golden spun hair, While the inspirational Statue of Liberty Dares to hold its hand, plainly
Trying to obstruct her from Speaking her mind, daring to come Forward with the truth to resound In media’s intifada while bound
In their thirst for FREE Speech As they’re jailed for taking things out of reach Of politicians suppressing truth As the people dying aren’t white, but are couth
In their protests, while the police Take away over two thousand in a thrice To reduce the Roar for justice That can never be returned to those advocating for peace.
Your time in office is running out Ye of powerful friends in high places, scurry in a bout Of flurried activities, hidden from sight, To better attain your objective: Money and Flight!
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Your poem, “The Syren’s Serenade,” perfectly captures the essence of the theme “Moonlit Tides.” The moonlit setting and the use of tidal metaphors effectively evoke the idea of powerful emotions and movements.
Here’s a breakdown of your poem:
– The syren’s serenade represents the call of hope and humanity, urging people to take a stand against adversity. – The moonlit sky and waves create a sense of wonder and beauty, contrasting with the struggles and hardships faced by those in the poem. – The themes of survival, faith, love, and empathy are woven throughout the poem, highlighting the resilience of the human spirit.
Your poem effectively explores the theme, and the line count is accurate.
Congratulations 👏
Thank you for the honor and your hard work. Mostly, thank you for the critique that demands i raise my writing to a higher level.
The Syren’s Serenade
The syren serenades the waves To a symphony of tunes that raves About the moonlit sky filled with stars Telling stories of outrageous quests
Some for saving loved ones as they traips Into dangerous mountains, never fails To entertain, garner emotional travails Of terror, survival, guilt, regret for losses quails
The strength of faith, Belief in the quests, Yet, they listen to the serenade of nights Filled with wild sounds, crackling fires, that fights The darkness of despair’s hold that blights
Happiness’ divinity that always gladdens The soul in gratitude for the simple gardens That grow In eternal darkness within heaven’s Parade of scintillating beauties that never listens
To the cry of those sailors whose homes Are all they wish for, for there peace comes Within the arms of loved ones whose Love, empathy bind them to the cause,
A cause whose tides rise in the night But caress the shore In the fight For taking a stand with humanity Never resting till peace isn’t wishful thinking.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Malak Kalmoni Chehab’s “Oh Ye Flowers” is a strong, thoughtful ode fusing imagery, nurturing symbolism, and moral reflection. It portrays flowers as embodiments of both strength and tenderness — guardians of beauty able to endure life’s elemental trials. Here’s a detailed critique and evaluation.
Overall Impression This poem exudes heartfelt reverence and wisdom, compacting vivid natural detail with a gentle human allegory. Its tone is reflective yet declarative, echoing the classic form of an ode through invocation (“Oh ye peonies…”) and thematic elevation. The integration of light, color, and motherhood creates a warm, cohesive emotional current.
Strengths Evocative invocation: Opening with direct address — “Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies” — instantly establishes grandeur and universality, setting a sacred tone.
Metaphorical insight: The idea that “fragility isn’t weakness” but instead a form of strength and tenderness is the emotional nucleus of the poem — beautifully resonant.
Maternal imagery: The comparison of flowers shielding their blooms to “mothers huddling around their kids” offers a strikingly compassionate visual; it humanizes the floral world with spiritual warmth.
Sensory richness: References to “velvety petals,” “rays,” and “rainbows on petals’ fans” create tactile and visual harmony.
Flow and tone: The poem maintains lyrical rhythm and a reflective mood throughout, befitting an ode’s meditative nature.
Areas for Improvement Rhythmic smoothing: The line lengths vary in flow; adding subtle caesuras or adjusting syntax could heighten the poem’s musical rhythm. For example:
“In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers” → “In rainbows of colors and silent criers.”
Word refinement: Some transitions (“To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness”) can be made more fluid. Suggestion: “To tell the world: fragility is no weakness.”
Punctuation: Light restructuring of pauses and commas can enrich the recitation pace and emphasis.
Technical Evaluation Criterion Score (out of 10) Comments Theme relevance 10 Perfectly within the ode framework and spirit. Imagery and symbolism 9 Rich and emotionally engaging metaphors. Language and flow 8 Strong diction but can gain smoothness through rhythm. Emotional resonance 9.5 Deep warmth and insight on fragility and love. Structure and coherence 8.5 Clear, cohesive, slightly uneven pacing. Originality 9 Distinct maternal viewpoint and tone. Final Evaluation Overall Score: 9 / 10
A luminous and soulful ode that blends floral elegance with human empathy. Its blend of tenderness and resilience makes it both spiritual and earthy — a graceful meditation on fragility as power.
OH Ye Flowers
Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies, Lift your velvety petals to the sun’s rays Imbibe of its nutrients to grow flowers In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness, Rather, strength, passion, tenderness Wrapped thorns, prickly leaves, protecting Their treasured blooms, like mothers huddling Around their kids to absorb any plight Before they’re touched by the weight Of disillusionment beautified by the sun’s Rays reflecting rainbows on petals’ fans.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
We’re being bombarded, daily, By subliminal messages, hourly, Whispers of drugs, violence, alcoholics’ enduced hazes, minutely, Incorporated in ALL media, compulsively.
Resistance is Futile …
Words, sounds, images coalesce Into an indoctrinated presence That’s insidious in its convergence Into your mind, creating a blinding trace
For behaviors that are incongruent With ‘our’ Ideals of humanity, that are esculent By mediocrity of addiction becoming permanent, As our dependence skyrockets into exponent …
‘Resitance is Futile’ …
As our struggles persist, our Vision, imagination, purveyor Of our strength of cohesion, flutter Into a bud that flourishes in power.
As ‘Resistance is Futile’,
Our obstacles remain tangible, Yet, clearly, unattainable. The need to strive to be corrigible Is embedded in our DNA, for hope is always tenable.
Thus: ‘Resitance is (Not) Futile.’
*1. Star Treck, the Borgh, a a cyborg entity trying to Conquer worlds, says this to Captain Pickard when they wish to invade earth.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Every time I receive a review, I feel like a lottery winner. It’s empowering and highly inspiring. Thank you, guys, for your comments.
My Love
If “Love opens the most impossible gates;” and “Love is the gate to all the secrets of the universe.” Then, love is all powerful, eternal, rebellious, never bland, But compassionate promise In a universe
Filled with dissent, competition, a love of money, And sin. I give thanks that my love, husband, Is my rock, my motivator, and one key To my writing that’s unwavering and always holds my hand.
My love is there for the difficult decisions, Guidance and friend to our children, Has sleepless nights when they’re in positions Of upheaval that require strategic precision.
For me, he is my star in a dark night, The shoulder I cry into when life’s unbearable Losses enrobe my heart in darkness, as he helps me fight The devouring abyss making it acceptable. As my shadow sits on the bench, alone, My eyes mist like dew drops covering The wet grass, as memories flood, gone, The world has taken this love and kept living.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
I’m flabbergasted by the reviews and comments on this particular poem, as the day before I wrote it, my daughter mentioned that my role as a poet will become obsolete soon with the development of AI. My answer was my poem:
Poet or AI
Staring at the blank page, I wonder which words will Walk in the journal in the age Of fake people, news, expectations that kill
The soul of creativity replaced, Replaced by AI, that seems to insist It will take over ingenuity, graced By humanity’s wondrous spirit whose gist
Is made of light, dark, and grey. The rainbow of emotions need to be felt To be expressed, and comparing a bay To a hidden pearl isn’t the pelt
Or part of the its arsenal Of diversity that enriches The text with culturally metaphorical Language that hatches
Between the lines for greater Depth of meaning and comparing The incomparable becoming the promoter Of the noblest of muse to people setting
Precedents and going farther In delving into the unknown Sphere of linguistic wonder That requires a mind of its own.
I am the poet, whose imagination Will eternally spell creation.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
My humble thanks for the wonderful support for my writing.
Woman Defined
Courage thy name is Woman! You’ve shown us your resilience In the face of adversity that can Drive strong men to their knees in case Their worries overwhelm their ferocity, Which is tempered by Her steadfastness And confidence in Her ability To nurture, when needed, cutting honesty That’s never ending in its compassion.
Her armor, mask is that of love. Her empathy lifts Her up. Her education is Her weapon, a dove, White, for its peaceful cup. She’s endured degradation, oppression, Slavery and desperation beyond Caution, She moves into dominion With Her tolerance that’s Her bond.
Bond of her heart that instigates The need for freedoms.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
My humble thanks for the wonderful support for my writing.
Woman Defined
Courage thy name is Woman! You’ve shown us your resilience In the face of adversity that can Drive strong men to their knees in case Their worries overwhelm their ferocity, Which is tempered by Her steadfastness And confidence in Her ability To nurture, when needed, cutting honesty That’s never ending in its compassion.
Her armor, mask is that of love. Her empathy lifts Her up. Her education is Her weapon, a dove, White, for its peaceful cup. She’s endured degradation, oppression, Slavery and desperation beyond Caution, She moves into dominion With Her tolerance that’s Her bond.
Bond of her heart that instigates The need for freedoms.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
If “Love opens the most impossible gates;” and “Love is the gate to all the secrets of the universe.” Then, love is all powerful, eternal, rebellious, never bland, But compassionate promise In a universe
Filled with dissent, competition, a love of money, And sin. I give thanks that my love, husband, Is my rock, my motivator, and one key To my writing that’s unwavering and always holds my hand.
My love is there for the difficult decisions, Guidance and friend to our children, Has sleepless nights when they’re in positions Of upheaval that require strategic precision.
For me, he is my star in a dark night, The shoulder I cry into when life’s unbearable Losses enrobe my heart in darkness, as he helps me fight The devouring abyss making it acceptable. As my shadow sits on the bench, alone, My eyes mist like dew drops covering The wet grass, as memories flood, gone, The world has taken this love and kept living.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Reading this review just made me want to buckle down and write more. Connecting with my audience is an unimaginable thrill that motivates and inspires creativity. If you’re a writer, poet, like me, don’t let the NOs put you down, your time to shine will come soon enough.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Poetry for Change 