Thank you for the honor, your hard work, and collaboration.
The simple joy of stringing words together to convey your innermost feelings is a great challenge, as well as going out of my comfort zone. I’m flabbergasted by the support of my followers and their input.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Malak Kalmoni Chehab’s “Oh Ye Flowers” is a strong, thoughtful ode fusing imagery, nurturing symbolism, and moral reflection. It portrays flowers as embodiments of both strength and tenderness — guardians of beauty able to endure life’s elemental trials. Here’s a detailed critique and evaluation.
Overall Impression This poem exudes heartfelt reverence and wisdom, compacting vivid natural detail with a gentle human allegory. Its tone is reflective yet declarative, echoing the classic form of an ode through invocation (“Oh ye peonies…”) and thematic elevation. The integration of light, color, and motherhood creates a warm, cohesive emotional current.
Strengths Evocative invocation: Opening with direct address — “Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies” — instantly establishes grandeur and universality, setting a sacred tone.
Metaphorical insight: The idea that “fragility isn’t weakness” but instead a form of strength and tenderness is the emotional nucleus of the poem — beautifully resonant.
Maternal imagery: The comparison of flowers shielding their blooms to “mothers huddling around their kids” offers a strikingly compassionate visual; it humanizes the floral world with spiritual warmth.
Sensory richness: References to “velvety petals,” “rays,” and “rainbows on petals’ fans” create tactile and visual harmony.
Flow and tone: The poem maintains lyrical rhythm and a reflective mood throughout, befitting an ode’s meditative nature.
Areas for Improvement Rhythmic smoothing: The line lengths vary in flow; adding subtle caesuras or adjusting syntax could heighten the poem’s musical rhythm. For example:
“In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers” → “In rainbows of colors and silent criers.”
Word refinement: Some transitions (“To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness”) can be made more fluid. Suggestion: “To tell the world: fragility is no weakness.”
Punctuation: Light restructuring of pauses and commas can enrich the recitation pace and emphasis.
Technical Evaluation Criterion Score (out of 10) Comments Theme relevance 10 Perfectly within the ode framework and spirit. Imagery and symbolism 9 Rich and emotionally engaging metaphors. Language and flow 8 Strong diction but can gain smoothness through rhythm. Emotional resonance 9.5 Deep warmth and insight on fragility and love. Structure and coherence 8.5 Clear, cohesive, slightly uneven pacing. Originality 9 Distinct maternal viewpoint and tone. Final Evaluation Overall Score: 9 / 10
A luminous and soulful ode that blends floral elegance with human empathy. Its blend of tenderness and resilience makes it both spiritual and earthy — a graceful meditation on fragility as power.
OH Ye Flowers
Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies, Lift your velvety petals to the sun’s rays Imbibe of its nutrients to grow flowers In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness, Rather, strength, passion, tenderness Wrapped thorns, prickly leaves, protecting Their treasured blooms, like mothers huddling Around their kids to absorb any plight Before they’re touched by the weight Of disillusionment beautified by the sun’s Rays reflecting rainbows on petals’ fans.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
She looks out of her window Where the darkness covers the world Beyond her room filled with pink roses, in low Vases, littered on her windowsill, not a coward,
She watches the storm brew from within, Safe in her harbor, a haven of scents adorn Her with mystique, incomparable to the crow who built-in Its home outside her window in a flow of corn
Ears reaching up to the sky, pleading, Pleading for rain to steep the soil with Life giving water, rejuvenating, healing, Giving abundance where famine takes away breath
Of life on a scorching summer day. She watches, lightning flutters in brilliant Light As thunder booms its might, scaring those in play With extenuating fright whose plight
Will drown out their fears replacing Them with a pinhole of hope shining Through the darkest raven blackness flying Into the sky with optimism sparking
A deluge of creativity unbound by earthy Trifles that bog the soul into a rut of endless routine.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
She looks out of her window Where the darkness covers the world Beyond her room filled with pink roses, in low Vases, littered on her windowsill, not a coward,
She watches the storm brew from within, Safe in her harbor, a haven of scents adorn Her with mystique, incomparable to the crow who built-in Its home outside her window in a flow of corn
Ears reaching up to the sky, pleading, Pleading for rain to steep the soil with Life giving water, rejuvenating, healing, Giving abundance where famine takes away breath
Of life on a scorching summer day. She watches, lightning flutters in brilliant Light As thunder booms its might, scaring those in play With extenuating fright whose plight
Will drown out their fears replacing Them with a pinhole of hope shining Through the darkest raven blackness flying Into the sky with optimism sparking
A deluge of creativity unbound by earthy Trifles that bog the soul into a rut of endless routine.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
FEAR Fear: fast heart beats feasting feverishly Every time fear ramps serotonin quickly, Amply avid in avoiding pain, fastidious in Remaining alive to tell the tale of FEAR. FEAR
BREATHE … Barely breathing, the brain astoundingly Reveals its respiratory ease, by reviewing Every fear, entering the data, waiting Another moment for analysis, wading, Through the morass of a lack of logic, Hearing only haloed heartbeats, heaving. Eternally aware of time flowing: BREATHE. BREATHE ..
THINK … Through and push through thinking Halves my reasoning, homing only on survival Instead of clarity of thought, Never receiving the memo of Knowing that ‘fight or flight’ is all in a knot. THINK. THINK …
ACT … Actively, arduously permitting action that Covers slippery seconds of being frozen, while Time reveals your success, failure, and your missing fervor. ACT …
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
We’re being bombarded, daily, By subliminal messages, hourly, Whispers of drugs, violence, alcoholics’ enduced hazes, minutely, Incorporated in ALL media, compulsively.
Resistance is Futile …
Words, sounds, images coalesce Into an indoctrinated presence That’s insidious in its convergence Into your mind, creating a blinding trace
For behaviors that are incongruent With ‘our’ Ideals of humanity, that are esculent By mediocrity of addiction becoming permanent, As our dependence skyrockets into exponent …
‘Resitance is Futile’ …
As our struggles persist, our Vision, imagination, purveyor Of our strength of cohesion, flutter Into a bud that flourishes in power.
As ‘Resistance is Futile’,
Our obstacles remain tangible, Yet, clearly, unattainable. The need to strive to be corrigible Is embedded in our DNA, for hope is always tenable.
Thus: ‘Resitance is (Not) Futile.’
*1. Star Treck, the Borgh, a a cyborg entity trying to Conquer worlds, says this to Captain Pickard when they wish to invade earth.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Our bleeding, broken hearts of clay And blood bleed profusely in a cup Overflowing with torments of war that sup On hope’s depression that hangs in a bay
Turned blood red in a husk of hay, Dried up hope that can’t stay alive In a world that seems to have forgotten to strive For peace, for their compassion is blown astray.
HIS palms safeguard the pieces of hearts Pulverized by visions of deadly murder On screens that bring screams of mother, Father, children in horrific suspension as parts
Are blown to smithereens and only identifying Thing is the ink on limbs carrying names Of children in black, that gets erased as flames From explosions erode any ink stains remaining
On skin that deliquesces from being scorched By burning flames that flutter over Corpses, gas that dematerialize any cover With its combustible matter, a deflagrated
Hideous serpent that swallows everything In its path and ignites into a colorful, reddish blaze That only receeds upon engulfing the craze Of all that is in its path, turning it to a Phoenix rising from ash.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
We’re being bombarded, daily, By subliminal messages, hourly, Whispers of drugs, violence, alcoholics’ enduced hazes, minutely, Incorporated in ALL media, compulsively.
Resistance is Futile …
Words, sounds, images coalesce Into an indoctrinated presence That’s insidious in its convergence Into your mind, creating a blinding trace
For behaviors that are incongruent With ‘our’ Ideals of humanity, that are esculent By mediocrity of addiction becoming permanent, As our dependence skyrockets into exponent …
‘Resitance is Futile’ …
As our struggles persist, our Vision, imagination, purveyor Of our strength of cohesion, flutter Into a bud that flourishes in power.
As ‘Resistance is Futile’,
Our obstacles remain tangible, Yet, clearly, unattainable. The need to strive to be corrigible Is embedded in our DNA, for hope is always tenable.
Thus: ‘Resitance is (Not) Futile.’
*1. Star Treck, the Borgh, a a cyborg entity trying to Conquer worlds, says this to Captain Pickard when they wish to invade earth.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Vikas Arora My warmest greetings!
Yes! The collaborative poem connects with the theme of light and shadow. Analysis of the Poem The poem directly addresses the theme of light and shadow both literally and figuratively. It uses the contrast to explore concepts like creation, balance, emotion, and human nature. Here is a breakdown of how the poem connects to the theme: Creation and Balance: The first stanza uses the “shadows” as the origin of creation, with beauty being born “into light.” This sets up the idea that light and dark aren’t just opposites, but are intertwined and necessary for a balanced whole. Metaphor for Emotions: The poem extends the metaphor to human experience, comparing “pathos” (suffering, emotion) and “richness of soul” to opposing sides of a coin. This parallels the relationship between light and shadow, suggesting that both are essential parts of our inner world. Literal and Figurative Light Sources: The poem mentions the sun and moon as literal sources of light and shadow, but also gives them metaphorical roles. The sun’s “ablutions” and the moon’s “passions” are presented as forces that “coincide in stabilizing” the world. This reinforces the idea of balance between contrasting elements. The Unavoidable Shadow: The second poem brings in the personal, unavoidable nature of a shadow. The line, “Wherever you may go your shadow stays with you,” emphasizes that our “shadow” or darker side is an intrinsic part of us, a constant companion. This suggests that we cannot escape the duality of light and dark within ourselves. The poem consistently uses the duality of light and shadow to represent other opposing concepts like chaos and order, emotion and soul, and the divine and the mundane. The recurring idea is that these forces are not meant to be separated but exist in a state of interdependence, contributing to a harmonious or “mellow” whole.
👌Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful collaborative poem. 👏Congratulations! 👏👏🌷🌷🙏🏻🙏🏻🎉🎊
Thank you for the honor and your hard work.
Collaborative poem Malak Kalmoni Chehab & Drvikas Arora Canada India Theme: Light and shadow
Within the shadows, creation came from chaos A reign out of which beauty was born Into light, where balance isn’t a horn That divides but embraces the two sides, pathos
And richness of soul, are opposing Sides of the same coin of emotions, Equipoised similarly to sun’s ablutions And the moon’s passions coincide in stabilizing
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Marvelous melancholy meandeers Eternally in darkness, entering eagerly Leading a life leery of lies letting your Armor augment your auspicious audacity Needing the support of friends, family, Creating a buffer to melancholy’s Hold on emotions that lend a hand to Overcoming despair’s grip from Loss’s leveling your blubbery heart, Yielding to an overflow of emotions, needing a cap.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Poetry for Change 