Her home is made of glass, Glass bottle that only bubbles, Bubbles with her emotions, bottled, Bottled up from fear, Fear of a release that’ll explode, Explode in shards of glass, Glass that’ll embed in skin, Skin that’s thin, easily penetrated, Penetrated, fragile, vulnerable, Vulnerable to injuries physical, emotional, Emotional that devastate the psyche, Psyche where trauma resides, Resides in the our hearts, Hearts that decay with anger, Anger that makes us decimated in hunger, Hunger for peace that’ll turn, Turn her glass paradigm into solid, Solid unpenatrable armor, Armor that protects, unbreakable, Unbreakable when faced with difficulties, Difficulties of life that pulverize, Pulverize the heart and mind, Mind that needs peace to reside calm.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Malak Kalmoni Chehab’s “Oh Ye Flowers” is a strong, thoughtful ode fusing imagery, nurturing symbolism, and moral reflection. It portrays flowers as embodiments of both strength and tenderness — guardians of beauty able to endure life’s elemental trials. Here’s a detailed critique and evaluation.
Overall Impression This poem exudes heartfelt reverence and wisdom, compacting vivid natural detail with a gentle human allegory. Its tone is reflective yet declarative, echoing the classic form of an ode through invocation (“Oh ye peonies…”) and thematic elevation. The integration of light, color, and motherhood creates a warm, cohesive emotional current.
Strengths Evocative invocation: Opening with direct address — “Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies” — instantly establishes grandeur and universality, setting a sacred tone.
Metaphorical insight: The idea that “fragility isn’t weakness” but instead a form of strength and tenderness is the emotional nucleus of the poem — beautifully resonant.
Maternal imagery: The comparison of flowers shielding their blooms to “mothers huddling around their kids” offers a strikingly compassionate visual; it humanizes the floral world with spiritual warmth.
Sensory richness: References to “velvety petals,” “rays,” and “rainbows on petals’ fans” create tactile and visual harmony.
Flow and tone: The poem maintains lyrical rhythm and a reflective mood throughout, befitting an ode’s meditative nature.
Areas for Improvement Rhythmic smoothing: The line lengths vary in flow; adding subtle caesuras or adjusting syntax could heighten the poem’s musical rhythm. For example:
“In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers” → “In rainbows of colors and silent criers.”
Word refinement: Some transitions (“To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness”) can be made more fluid. Suggestion: “To tell the world: fragility is no weakness.”
Punctuation: Light restructuring of pauses and commas can enrich the recitation pace and emphasis.
Technical Evaluation Criterion Score (out of 10) Comments Theme relevance 10 Perfectly within the ode framework and spirit. Imagery and symbolism 9 Rich and emotionally engaging metaphors. Language and flow 8 Strong diction but can gain smoothness through rhythm. Emotional resonance 9.5 Deep warmth and insight on fragility and love. Structure and coherence 8.5 Clear, cohesive, slightly uneven pacing. Originality 9 Distinct maternal viewpoint and tone. Final Evaluation Overall Score: 9 / 10
A luminous and soulful ode that blends floral elegance with human empathy. Its blend of tenderness and resilience makes it both spiritual and earthy — a graceful meditation on fragility as power.
OH Ye Flowers
Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies, Lift your velvety petals to the sun’s rays Imbibe of its nutrients to grow flowers In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness, Rather, strength, passion, tenderness Wrapped thorns, prickly leaves, protecting Their treasured blooms, like mothers huddling Around their kids to absorb any plight Before they’re touched by the weight Of disillusionment beautified by the sun’s Rays reflecting rainbows on petals’ fans.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Woman in my dreams, Hazy features covered, as you please, By groundsels whose hairy filaments Soar around her, blankets Her from head to toe, Trying vainly to get closer to blow Its velvety softness in a Tornado Of white that sweeps in an elegant flow.
She contemplates its fragility, Wondering at the reality Of how daintily flimsy Its flower is, while its stem is definitely Rooted in her heart, prettily Proving it’s longevity.
She reverently catches a blowing Head, as she admires its flowing Dance, whose strength is glowing In a sensual litany that’s dizzying.
Dream of the flower that nestles Its thorns into delicate hearts That beats for imagination that bleeds.
Poetry for Change 