Forging forgiveness in volcanic lava Offers your soul permission to regret No more your unfavorable decisions that let Remorse drown your happiness and stray Into despair. Yet when facing your mistakes, Answering for your actions alleviates the breaks.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
As the leaves fall singing a last Hoora to sunny days, warm breezes, Replaced with a plethora of colors that freezes On the ground in an array of colors that blast
The verdant greens into yellowish Greens, oranges, and burnished reds That crinkle, crackle beneath our feet as heads Turn to watch the scene divided by roads of hardship
Where the greens have faded While the other paints a palette of reds That burn beauty Within as it delves and heads Into the sunset with its divided colors shaded
By God’s paintbrush that never Disappoints those who appreciate The divinity in the balance, never late, Always just as it equalizes reality of the creator.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Your poem “Halloween’s Halo” is a wild ride! It fits the theme “Shadow Dance” perfectly – you’re painting a picture of shadows coming alive on Halloween night, dancing with spooky creatures, and embracing the thrill of the dark.
Your poem has 28 lines, and it’s a treasure trove of imagery and wordplay! You’ve got scarecrows, monsters, Dasher, ghosts, grinches, and ghouls – it’s like a Halloween party in here!
The language is rich and vivid, and you’ve created a haunting atmosphere that’s infectious. I love how you’ve woven together the themes of fear, freedom, and the thrill of the night.
Congratulations 👏
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
On a sunny Sunday afternoon Their wedding Masquerade in bloom, People dressed glowing like the moon, While the bride and groom
Joined them in their masked Costumes, white from head to toe, Shiny raven black not a crow, but a bow tied To suffocate instead of decorate the flow.
As they enter, ghouls and ghosts Creep in droves, while Dracula drools Over the succulent live meals in hosts, Pros, Neffertiti, doctors, astronauts, all in pools
Surround the bride in fear as they Prey on the dark dressed groom, whose Tux became fodder for pirates, parrots play Their roles driving the bride over plank in pose
Of defeat, death, depravity has no end. But, wait! Who’s there? What’s that? The bride swings from trees, Jane, whose bend Of hand holds arms of freedom in a vat,
A cauldron where newt guts, brains Of vultures, nightshade, blood that overflows As it bublles up, swallows all it touches, cranes Its flow into corners not to miss any blows.
The poem by Malak Kalmoni Chehab is a wild and imaginative fit for the theme Midnight Masquerade. It masterfully crafts a dark and whimsical atmosphere, perfect for a masquerade ball with a twist of magic and mystery.
The imagery is vivid and evocative, transporting the reader to a world of fantasy and horror. The language is rich and sensory, with phrases like “Ghouls and ghosts creep in droves” and “Dracula drools over the succulent live meals” that conjure up a captivating atmosphere.
The poem’s themes of masquerade, magic, and the supernatural are perfectly in line with the theme, and the use of words like “Masquerade” reinforces the idea of a night of mystery and enchantment.
As for the number of lines, there are 28 lines in the poem.
Congratulations 👏🎉
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Live in the moment: Yesterday is in the past, Burry its pains, difficulties. Learn, move on. Tomorrow will come whether you worry Or let things play out slowly, calmly. Today, the present moment Will become past, so enjoy its transience. So present, past, future are all but moments in time.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
On a sunny Sunday afternoon Their wedding Masquerade in bloom, People dressed glowing like the moon, While the bride and groom
Joined them in their masked Costumes, white from head to toe, Shiny raven black not a crow, but a bow tied To suffocate instead of decorate the flow.
As they enter, ghouls and ghosts Creep in droves, while Dracula drools Over the succulent live meals in hosts, Pros, Neffertiti, doctors, astronauts, all in pools
Surround the bride in fear as they Prey on the dark dressed groom, whose Tux became fodder for pirates, parrots play Their roles driving the bride over plank in pose
Of defeat, death, depravity has no end. But, wait! Who’s there? What’s that? The bride swings from trees, Jane, whose bend Of hand holds arms of freedom in a vat,
A cauldron where newt guts, brains Of vultures, nightshade, blood that overflows As it bublles up, swallows all it touches, cranes Its flow into corners not to miss any blows.
Watch the witchy, whaling, warbling, Black pointed hat flying into the air Sprinkling her brew that’s consuming All in a blinding jiffy like a pair in fiery flair.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Who am I? I’m orange, oblong, striped, And used by Cinderella’s Fairy godmother in a chariot Fit for a princess!
Who am I? I’m still orange, some yellow, Others green and pear like, It’s used with a scarecrow To scare off birds and scavengers, kite Like in their freedom to perch, alone.
Who am I? I’m the perfect accoutrement To Thanksgiving dinners with Joy, appreciation, laughter that comment On the importance of being together with our breath Mingling with loved ones in a moment we treasure.
Who am I? I’m the unsung hero of Thanksgiving Used in sweet and savory dishes Used as a lamp for decoration of living Homes who create a world of grinches, Monsters, ghosts, and gools for entertaining.
Your poem, “The Syren’s Serenade,” perfectly captures the essence of the theme “Moonlit Tides.” The moonlit setting and the use of tidal metaphors effectively evoke the idea of powerful emotions and movements.
Here’s a breakdown of your poem:
– The syren’s serenade represents the call of hope and humanity, urging people to take a stand against adversity. – The moonlit sky and waves create a sense of wonder and beauty, contrasting with the struggles and hardships faced by those in the poem. – The themes of survival, faith, love, and empathy are woven throughout the poem, highlighting the resilience of the human spirit.
Your poem effectively explores the theme, and the line count is accurate.
Congratulations 👏
Thank you for the honor and your hard work. Mostly, thank you for the critique that demands i raise my writing to a higher level.
The Syren’s Serenade
The syren serenades the waves To a symphony of tunes that raves About the moonlit sky filled with stars Telling stories of outrageous quests
Some for saving loved ones as they traips Into dangerous mountains, never fails To entertain, garner emotional travails Of terror, survival, guilt, regret for losses quails
The strength of faith, Belief in the quests, Yet, they listen to the serenade of nights Filled with wild sounds, crackling fires, that fights The darkness of despair’s hold that blights
Happiness’ divinity that always gladdens The soul in gratitude for the simple gardens That grow In eternal darkness within heaven’s Parade of scintillating beauties that never listens
To the cry of those sailors whose homes Are all they wish for, for there peace comes Within the arms of loved ones whose Love, empathy bind them to the cause,
A cause whose tides rise in the night But caress the shore In the fight For taking a stand with humanity Never resting till peace isn’t wishful thinking.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Who am I? I’m orange, oblong, striped, And used by Cinderella’s Fairy godmother in a chariot Fit for a princess!
Who am I? I’m still orange, some yellow, Others green and pear like, It’s used with a scarecrow To scare off birds and scavengers, kite Like in their freedom to perch, alone.
Who am I? I’m the perfect accoutrement To Thanksgiving dinners with Joy, appreciation, laughter that comment On the importance of being together with our breath Mingling with loved ones in a moment we treasure.
Who am I? I’m the unsung hero of Thanksgiving Used in sweet and savory dishes Used as a lamp for decoration of living Homes who create a world of grinches, Monsters, ghosts, and gools for entertaining.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Malak Kalmoni Chehab’s “Oh Ye Flowers” is a strong, thoughtful ode fusing imagery, nurturing symbolism, and moral reflection. It portrays flowers as embodiments of both strength and tenderness — guardians of beauty able to endure life’s elemental trials. Here’s a detailed critique and evaluation.
Overall Impression This poem exudes heartfelt reverence and wisdom, compacting vivid natural detail with a gentle human allegory. Its tone is reflective yet declarative, echoing the classic form of an ode through invocation (“Oh ye peonies…”) and thematic elevation. The integration of light, color, and motherhood creates a warm, cohesive emotional current.
Strengths Evocative invocation: Opening with direct address — “Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies” — instantly establishes grandeur and universality, setting a sacred tone.
Metaphorical insight: The idea that “fragility isn’t weakness” but instead a form of strength and tenderness is the emotional nucleus of the poem — beautifully resonant.
Maternal imagery: The comparison of flowers shielding their blooms to “mothers huddling around their kids” offers a strikingly compassionate visual; it humanizes the floral world with spiritual warmth.
Sensory richness: References to “velvety petals,” “rays,” and “rainbows on petals’ fans” create tactile and visual harmony.
Flow and tone: The poem maintains lyrical rhythm and a reflective mood throughout, befitting an ode’s meditative nature.
Areas for Improvement Rhythmic smoothing: The line lengths vary in flow; adding subtle caesuras or adjusting syntax could heighten the poem’s musical rhythm. For example:
“In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers” → “In rainbows of colors and silent criers.”
Word refinement: Some transitions (“To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness”) can be made more fluid. Suggestion: “To tell the world: fragility is no weakness.”
Punctuation: Light restructuring of pauses and commas can enrich the recitation pace and emphasis.
Technical Evaluation Criterion Score (out of 10) Comments Theme relevance 10 Perfectly within the ode framework and spirit. Imagery and symbolism 9 Rich and emotionally engaging metaphors. Language and flow 8 Strong diction but can gain smoothness through rhythm. Emotional resonance 9.5 Deep warmth and insight on fragility and love. Structure and coherence 8.5 Clear, cohesive, slightly uneven pacing. Originality 9 Distinct maternal viewpoint and tone. Final Evaluation Overall Score: 9 / 10
A luminous and soulful ode that blends floral elegance with human empathy. Its blend of tenderness and resilience makes it both spiritual and earthy — a graceful meditation on fragility as power.
OH Ye Flowers
Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies, Lift your velvety petals to the sun’s rays Imbibe of its nutrients to grow flowers In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness, Rather, strength, passion, tenderness Wrapped thorns, prickly leaves, protecting Their treasured blooms, like mothers huddling Around their kids to absorb any plight Before they’re touched by the weight Of disillusionment beautified by the sun’s Rays reflecting rainbows on petals’ fans.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Poetry for Change 