Who am I? I’m orange, oblong, striped, And used by Cinderella’s Fairy godmother in a chariot Fit for a princess!
Who am I? I’m still orange, some yellow, Others green and pear like, It’s used with a scarecrow To scare off birds and scavengers, kite Like in their freedom to perch, alone.
Who am I? I’m the perfect accoutrement To Thanksgiving dinners with Joy, appreciation, laughter that comment On the importance of being together with our breath Mingling with loved ones in a moment we treasure.
Who am I? I’m the unsung hero of Thanksgiving Used in sweet and savory dishes Used as a lamp for decoration of living Homes who create a world of grinches, Monsters, ghosts, and gools for entertaining.
Your poem, “The Syren’s Serenade,” perfectly captures the essence of the theme “Moonlit Tides.” The moonlit setting and the use of tidal metaphors effectively evoke the idea of powerful emotions and movements.
Here’s a breakdown of your poem:
– The syren’s serenade represents the call of hope and humanity, urging people to take a stand against adversity. – The moonlit sky and waves create a sense of wonder and beauty, contrasting with the struggles and hardships faced by those in the poem. – The themes of survival, faith, love, and empathy are woven throughout the poem, highlighting the resilience of the human spirit.
Your poem effectively explores the theme, and the line count is accurate.
Congratulations 👏
Thank you for the honor and your hard work. Mostly, thank you for the critique that demands i raise my writing to a higher level.
The Syren’s Serenade
The syren serenades the waves To a symphony of tunes that raves About the moonlit sky filled with stars Telling stories of outrageous quests
Some for saving loved ones as they traips Into dangerous mountains, never fails To entertain, garner emotional travails Of terror, survival, guilt, regret for losses quails
The strength of faith, Belief in the quests, Yet, they listen to the serenade of nights Filled with wild sounds, crackling fires, that fights The darkness of despair’s hold that blights
Happiness’ divinity that always gladdens The soul in gratitude for the simple gardens That grow In eternal darkness within heaven’s Parade of scintillating beauties that never listens
To the cry of those sailors whose homes Are all they wish for, for there peace comes Within the arms of loved ones whose Love, empathy bind them to the cause,
A cause whose tides rise in the night But caress the shore In the fight For taking a stand with humanity Never resting till peace isn’t wishful thinking.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Who am I? I’m orange, oblong, striped, And used by Cinderella’s Fairy godmother in a chariot Fit for a princess!
Who am I? I’m still orange, some yellow, Others green and pear like, It’s used with a scarecrow To scare off birds and scavengers, kite Like in their freedom to perch, alone.
Who am I? I’m the perfect accoutrement To Thanksgiving dinners with Joy, appreciation, laughter that comment On the importance of being together with our breath Mingling with loved ones in a moment we treasure.
Who am I? I’m the unsung hero of Thanksgiving Used in sweet and savory dishes Used as a lamp for decoration of living Homes who create a world of grinches, Monsters, ghosts, and gools for entertaining.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Malak Kalmoni. Chehab Malak Kalmoni Chehab’s “Oh Ye Flowers” is a strong, thoughtful ode fusing imagery, nurturing symbolism, and moral reflection. It portrays flowers as embodiments of both strength and tenderness — guardians of beauty able to endure life’s elemental trials. Here’s a detailed critique and evaluation.
Overall Impression This poem exudes heartfelt reverence and wisdom, compacting vivid natural detail with a gentle human allegory. Its tone is reflective yet declarative, echoing the classic form of an ode through invocation (“Oh ye peonies…”) and thematic elevation. The integration of light, color, and motherhood creates a warm, cohesive emotional current.
Strengths Evocative invocation: Opening with direct address — “Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies” — instantly establishes grandeur and universality, setting a sacred tone.
Metaphorical insight: The idea that “fragility isn’t weakness” but instead a form of strength and tenderness is the emotional nucleus of the poem — beautifully resonant.
Maternal imagery: The comparison of flowers shielding their blooms to “mothers huddling around their kids” offers a strikingly compassionate visual; it humanizes the floral world with spiritual warmth.
Sensory richness: References to “velvety petals,” “rays,” and “rainbows on petals’ fans” create tactile and visual harmony.
Flow and tone: The poem maintains lyrical rhythm and a reflective mood throughout, befitting an ode’s meditative nature.
Areas for Improvement Rhythmic smoothing: The line lengths vary in flow; adding subtle caesuras or adjusting syntax could heighten the poem’s musical rhythm. For example:
“In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers” → “In rainbows of colors and silent criers.”
Word refinement: Some transitions (“To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness”) can be made more fluid. Suggestion: “To tell the world: fragility is no weakness.”
Punctuation: Light restructuring of pauses and commas can enrich the recitation pace and emphasis.
Technical Evaluation Criterion Score (out of 10) Comments Theme relevance 10 Perfectly within the ode framework and spirit. Imagery and symbolism 9 Rich and emotionally engaging metaphors. Language and flow 8 Strong diction but can gain smoothness through rhythm. Emotional resonance 9.5 Deep warmth and insight on fragility and love. Structure and coherence 8.5 Clear, cohesive, slightly uneven pacing. Originality 9 Distinct maternal viewpoint and tone. Final Evaluation Overall Score: 9 / 10
A luminous and soulful ode that blends floral elegance with human empathy. Its blend of tenderness and resilience makes it both spiritual and earthy — a graceful meditation on fragility as power.
OH Ye Flowers
Oh ye peonies, rose buds, hydrangeas, lilies, Lift your velvety petals to the sun’s rays Imbibe of its nutrients to grow flowers In rainbows of colors, shapes, cryers To the world, that fragility isn’t weakness, Rather, strength, passion, tenderness Wrapped thorns, prickly leaves, protecting Their treasured blooms, like mothers huddling Around their kids to absorb any plight Before they’re touched by the weight Of disillusionment beautified by the sun’s Rays reflecting rainbows on petals’ fans.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
All art is a view of life perceived Through the eye of the artist who Interprets his emotional response through The media of art he drew and traveled Into his world of choice where illusion, Pink tinted glasses, or blackened ones, are a division
Only the artist can create within the piece Of art that he sees in his mind’s eye, Reproduces it, and there’s always the fly That’s never as exact as the vision, a place
Where flexibility, imagination run rampant But can be recreated perfectly, So the artist’s interpretation of life’s study Is always in perfidy that’s recalcitrant.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
With one hand, they give out arms To propagate war, a war that divides Brothers, using the old, well proven Adage of ‘Divide and Conquer’, unbidden
The conqueror strives to reduce The power of the people through the curse Of avarice and the need to wield Dominion over others in an open field
Where, when the warring parties Are busy murdering each other, their advocators Pillage Africa, South Asia and America, all resources Are tied up under their rule, while others dies:
Their wealth increases exponentially, Their lies and division become award worthy, For they manipulate facts to their advantage, cruelty Being their aim for it’s their weapon that’s entirely
Too effective in keeping people in line When they wish only for freedom, not grime, Using resources to empower the country Not the conqueror, manipulator, who’ll destroy
Without conscience, compassion, Humanity, for the longer they play the game The greater the death toll, division That increases the gap that need a bridge and time
To overcome the differences instilled By an aggressor whose purpose is power.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
The world is encased in books, where, You travel from East to West, meds are Enclosed in others, while language and culture Unlock the secrets of the world through Culture, songs, poetry that are a breakthrough To understanding each other, unlocking secrets that brew.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
The ripples of your actions transcend Your present, as their butterfly effects are Riddled with an elliptical cycle that’ll band your Regret, elation into a box that’ll lend
A heavy weight that sinks into a grave Where its ripples affect your day and flay You, as you’re unaware of the magnitude of the pay You pay while it sits under the ceaseless wave.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
The world is encased in books, where, You travel from East to West, meds are Enclosed in others, while language and culture Unlock the secrets of the world through Culture, songs, poetry that are a breakthrough To understanding each other, unlocking secrets that brew.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Sheltered against nature’s outpouring Under leaves of green, huddled together, tweeting Our love song for all to hear and see That strength comes from unity, Protection comes from the will to fight For what’s yours without thinking of the consequences of plight.
My poetry book, Perfectly Flawed poetry for change, is available on all eplatforms including Amazon. It was on the finalist list for the Canadian Book Club Awards 2023.
Poetry for Change 